that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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