He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
