Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
