We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
