ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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