yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize