I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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