Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
