sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize