thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
