Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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