69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
