Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
