If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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