I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize