Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
two words: eviction party
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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