We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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