I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
