I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
