me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
