Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
