note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
