every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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