And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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