But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
