theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
