I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think my moral compass just broke
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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