get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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