I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
