You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
