Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
