Say something about gay babies.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
