We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
