so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
