I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
