So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
