im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Life is so much better after having sex.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
