Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
