So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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