out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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