Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
