the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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