I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
