I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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