yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
