i think i have herpe
just one?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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