In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize