9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
