its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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