you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize