accomplished twins. life is a go
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
