dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
