Life is so much better after having sex.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
