I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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