And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So many bounce houses so little time
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
