Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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