All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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