Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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