genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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