Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
