I just made out with a guy for $7.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
