Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize